Friday, January 13, 2006

Grab a reason and I'm dragging you down

MY BLOODY VALENTINE "I Can See It (But I Can't Feel It)" (Peel Session 1988)

Today has started out well. I may have no money in the bank but I feel pretty okay about things. Last Gasp asked for another hundred YETIs, and here I am listening to the Swell Maps rather loudly in my Grado SR 80s (official headphone of the Amazon.com OG music editorial crew -- insert sound of bubble bursting here) after an early morning walk with my girl, followed by a strange breakfast of Trader Joe sushi, edamame, and half a pear that's possibly the best pear I have ever eaten, consumed with a few slices of sheep cheese which the little card at Whole Foods said went really well with pears. Say what you will about Whole Foods, they did not lie to us about their cheese. Sorry to get all Bret Easton Ellis there with the naming of my brands there. I didn't even get paid for those endorsements! I paid FOR them.

This is the best sounding version I've found of My Bloody Valentine's Peel Session from '88, when they did four tunes under circumstances they supposedly didn't enjoy, as they were rather hurried through the songs. One imagines Kevin Shields had far less control than he's used to. The band did not return to do another session, though Shields did play on one with the Pastels about seven years later.

MBV have one of the lamest names around, there's no question about it. The moniker was notoriously taken from a campy horror flick by the first singer, that Dave guy, but I like the way the word "blood" is in there. Blood has been on my mind a lot of late. I'm told eventually I'll be put on insulin maintenance, in all likelihood. I did not like hearing that.

Speaking of blood: over the years, I've noticed a big difference in the way you're treated by doctors and especially nurses when you tell them you want to be tested for STDs versus when you get any other bloodwork done. I guess I should just go to Planned Parenthood for testing and avoid this business? I just feel like if you've been sexually active at all you should get tested pretty often, and assume that everyone else does this too so it's not a big deal, that even if you're "safe" and "hetero" you fucking get tested often, right? Then I've got a past history of drug use, so I feel the need to get tested for Hep C every few years 'cause even though I never shared needles thanks to NYC's awesome and thankfully extant policy of harm reduction (which very likely saved my life). But I have had friends have Hepatitis sneak up on 'em years later, you know? I just hate the weird nervous vibe there is when you get tested for this stuff in doctor's offices.

I remember getting a routine HIV test in a small doctor's office in East Tennessee, and the poor nurse was totally shaking while trying to draw my blood, like I was instantly gonna spray her with my vampire juice and dissolve her flesh right there if she didn't do this perfectly, or perhaps she thought I was a robot from the future and it actually was battery acid in my veins and not blood? I think she had three pairs of gloves on and couldn't feel her fingers anymore so naturally she had to jab me and move the needle around a dozen times before she hit the goddamn thing.

It's weird to be in the position of the patient in these situations, and not feel judged a little bit, you know? It's also really uncomfortable as an ex needle freak to sit there getting needled by these big gauged syphons, strapped to a chair. I swear I almost got sick the other day while this was happening, all the little tubes getting filled up with my "juice of life." Ummm, this is both boring and disgusting so I'll shut up now.

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